thank you, dolores

January 15th, 2018

High school for most people is an awkward time and place where you try to figure out how you fit in. It wasn’t that different for me, growing up in Amsterdam. But when you hear that right piece of music, and it feels like it just speaks to you? That was Dolores and the Cranberries for me. Hearing her voice, I remember feeling, relieved and confident, yes, this is what I like, this is who I am.

Years later, I would buy tickets for their concert on two different occasions, and on both occasions they would cancel the concert. I guess I will never have the chance to hear her live.

Rest in peace, Dolores.

Thank you for helping me get through high school.
Thank you for helping me figure out who I am.
May you wake up in heaven and smell the coffee.

Posted in music


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book and sword : gratitude and revenge

is the first novel written by Jin Yong. The protagonist is Chan Ka Lok, who is the leader of the Red Flower Society. The book title refers to Ka Lok being famous for being well-versed in culture and martial arts, but also for having to make a difficult ethical decision. My father named me and my brother after him.

The subtitle is from a poem Desiderata