breaking up with lies

January 30th, 2017

im not talking to you unless you first acknowledge what i feel is real.

i dont want to deceive myself anymore. 

you’re asking me to lie to myself. to smile. to be silent. to pretend nothing happened. to even pretend to be happy. 

you are willing to lie to me for this. god knows this wouldn’t be your first time. you can even continue to lie to yourself or uncle. and here you are, tears in hand, asking me to join you. but no, it stops here. im not going to live the rest of my life in denial of myself or my feelings. 

i want to live a true life. if that means a life without you, then i will live my life without you. you’re free to join me once you’re ready.

“this is what happened. this is what i feel.”

no longer silence. never be silent.

Posted in abuse

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book and sword : gratitude and revenge

is the first novel written by Jin Yong. The protagonist is Chan Ka Lok, who is the leader of the Red Flower Society. The book title refers to Ka Lok being famous for being well-versed in culture and martial arts, but also for having to make a difficult ethical decision. My father named me and my brother after him.

The subtitle is from a poem Desiderata