Listening to Bobina – Invisible Touch (Ferry Corsten remix) on a very early Sunday morning. Been writing steadily the past few weeks, getting up early, making a pot of tea, putting my headphones on. (I got new headphones!)

The graphic in the YouTube video reminds me of the awesome wallpapers at DeskTopography.

“There exists in our society a widespread fear of judging … [B]ehind the unwillingness to judge lurks the suspicion that no one is a free agent, and hence the doubt that anyone is responsible or could be expected to answer for what he has done… . Who am I to judge? actually means We’re all alike, equally bad, and those who try, or pretend that they try, to remain halfway decent are either saints or hypocrites, and in either case should leave us alone. Hence the huge outcry the moment anyone fixes specific blame on some particular person.”

Arendt argues we shouldn’t be afraid to judge. That to judge is to tell good from bad. That it prevents us from falling in the trap of “thoughtlessness”. That to judge is a moral responsibility. And in order to judge responsibly, that we owe it to ourselves to train our imagination to go visiting, to see all sides of a problem as if they were our own.

Is imagination merely a talent, such as a good singing voice, the ability to “make things up: or “think things up” or “get ideas”? Or is it, like science, a way of knowing things that can be known in no other way? We have much reason to think that it is a way of knowing things not otherwise knowable. As the word itself suggests, it is the power to make us see, and to see, moreover, things that without it would be unseeable. In one of its aspects it is the power by which we sympathize. By its means we may see what it was to be Odysseus or Penelope, or David or Ruth, or what it is to be one’s neighbor or one’s enemy. By it, we may “see ourselves as others see us.” It is also the power by which we see the place, the predicament, or the story we are in.”

– From Wendell Berry, “God Science, and Imagination” in Imagination in Place.

Simply terrific.

It might be silly, but I am fascinated with reading about top athletes, and what they make of themselves over the course of their career. Kobe Bryant is of course an inspiring example, someone who not only has so much potential, but also works *so* hard at pushing himself towards excellence. What we often forget is that this comes at a price, something that perhaps became really clear during Michael Jordan’s Hall of Fame induction speech.

The anti-Kobe might be someone who has as much potential, but did not put in the same amount of work, every day, relentlessly. That person might have a decent or even a good career, but not the stellar career we all thought he had in him. This person, is Chris Webber.

So what, I hear you think? Does it matter that Chris Webber never reached the level of Kobe or KG? After all, he has 5 All Star appearances, led the League in Rebounds in one year, and made it to the All-NBA first team. But I also remember the absolute hype when he first appeared on the scene: his talent was unprecedented, a big man with the skills of a guard. He was LeBron before there was LeBron. But you can argue that LeBron at this point in his career already made more out of his potential than Webber ever did.

Whether at the end of the road, you can look back on your life, and are happy or not with the life you have led, is a personal choice. Whether you have been relentless in the pursuit of excellence and often sacrifice everything for your career, or whether you decided to have a more balanced life, is a decision made by you. There is an excellent, excellent book I am reading that perhaps sums it up the best: The Book of Basketball, written by “the Sports Guy” Bill Simmons. His book is chuck full of awesome stories, and perhaps the best part are the footnotes. Here’s the footnote on Chris Webber:

Considering Webber earned nearly $200 million, can you call him disappointing? He ended up being no. 72 instead of no. 28 … is that the worst thing in the world? I think it comes down to one issue: You know when you go to a car wash and they offer you the “everything” package? Only a few NBA players are chosen every generation for the “everything” package. If they fuck it up even a little, it’s disappointing. So yeah, Webber finished no. 72. But he still goes to sleep every night knowing he could have been forty or fifty spots higher. And if he doesn’t think about it, then that explains everything.

And if he doesn’t think about it, then that explains everything. That’s pretty damning. It’s easy to be critical about top athletes, because we expect them to be competitive. But what about your own life? Are you living up to your potential? Are you thinking about it? But it can be quite lonely up there. And be careful: Fly too high, and the sun might burn you..

it’s sunday in boston, and the fall weather is gorgeous, but i haven’t been able to see much of it today. mostly because my body was telling me: you’re tired, you need to rest. so that’s what i did. it’s 3pm now, and i just woke up, again. earlier, i was reading in bed with my laptop, fell asleep again.

i feel super refreshed! i also feel like i could have kept on sleeping and sleeping, crazy. two funny things in my dreams:

i was in amsterdam, with a classmate from annenberg, looking for belgium belgian fries. i haven’t had them in so so long. and suddenly in my dream, i crave them. like there is no tomorrow.

another weird thing, walking around in the mall (a mall in holland!), looking for the stand with the belgium belgian fries, i can’t find it. music is blaring in the background. it is that song “til the end of time” from lau siu wai and the other dude. i remember thinking in my dream “wow i just heard that and now they are playing it here in the mall”.

that’s because i listened to it while i was working behind my laptop. so i remembered this in my dream! i sometimes think the dream world and the real are separate realities. not that they don’t influence each other, because of course they do, but if somethings transfer, they warp in the process, change slightly. but in this dream, the me in the dream, clearly remembers something i did in the real, before i fell asleep. pretty mind boggling. (i’m sure i’m not the only one out there, but this is the first time i have a recollection of this after i wake up). enjoy the song (a total classic polygram (now defunct label) karaoke song – from the Laser Disc era – check out the hairdo of the dude – a total relic of the nineties – didn’t we all have a haircut like that at some point?!)

ps anyone knows where i can get some good fries in boston? anyone?

the grey skies are vast. a ray of moonlight breaking through. connecting the present and the past. hold on to it, watch it flow between your fingers. a moment of transcendence, time transfixed. images of you, of us, from the past, present, future, all replayed in that basket of moonlight.

(some time in 2005, philadelphia)

In the park. Music in the distance. Reading.

When a girl came to sit next to me. Quietly.
With headphones.
Her look drifting off. Smoked a cigarette.

I lean back, and gaze at the sky.

After a while she puts out her cigarette
picks up a pocket book from her bag. Japanese.

I’m breathing real slow. Life is good.

(to the girl with headphones who came to sit next to me, in washington square park, on a sunny saturday afternoon – July 25, 2009 ~4pm)

green trees solitary, passing by
quiet, desolate towns
stories, unspoken and untouched
clouds, still, stern and magnificent. looking over us.
blue, endless blue sky
the end of summer
the end of all summers

有時候很想聽一些表達你心情的歌。
這兒，這一刻，現在，整天，想的人，這心情。
找到了，很想跟你關心的人分享。
才發現音樂不是真的universal。

（h/t herman）

汽球
作詞：許哲珮　作曲：許哲珮

黑的白的紅的黃的　紫的綠的藍的灰的
你的我的他的她的　大的小的圓的扁的
好的壞的美的醜的
新的舊的各種款式各種花色任你選擇
黑的白的紅的黃的　紫的綠的藍的灰的
你的我的他的她的　大的小的圓的扁的
好的壞的美的醜的
新的舊的各種款式各種花色任我選擇
飛的高高越遠越好　剪斷了線它就死掉
壽命短短高興就好　喜歡就好沒大不了
越變越小越來越小　快要死掉也很驕傲
你不想說就別再說　我不想聽不想再聽
就把一切誓言當作汽球一般隨它而去
我不在意不會在意　放它而去隨它而去
汽球　飄進雲裡　飄進風裡　結束生命
汽球　飄進愛裡　飄進心裡　慢慢死去